Ten years ago I graduated from high school. It amazes me to look back and reflect on what’s transpired; how some dreams came true while others didn’t (the dreams that did come immensely outweigh the ones that didn’t).
When I was in high school I dreamed of one day playing professional golf. In fact, I was concerned that if I didn’t make it to the PGA Tour I wouldn’t have a chance at any successful career. On one occasion, I told my little sister, “if I don’t play professional golf I’m going to be screwed in life.” Looking back, I can’t really blame myself for that pessimistic outlook on my opportunities. I was an average student who didn’t care much for learning. Although I was planning on attending college I scored low on the ACT. On the English section I scored a 13 (and I seriously tried). One of my friends reminded me that if you just guess “C” on all the questions then you’ll score a 13. He then put it in terms I could better understand, “you’re as smart as a pencil.”
I often wish that I could meet my high school graduating self and have a ten minute discussion. I would love to see my younger self’s reaction when discussing what’s happened in my life since high school, as my life has turned out significantly different than how I expected. I wouldn’t want my high school self to remember any of the details I’d share (as to not change the future), except for the advice given in the end.
The setting is my “2009 self” waiting in a classroom at school to meet with a special visitor that wanted to see him. The “2019 me” walks in the room and greets the younger me:
2019: “Hi Skyler. How are you doing?”
2009: “Fine. Who are you?”
2019:” I’m you, 10 years from now.”
2009: “Funny. But really who are you?”
2019: “No, seriously. I’m you 10 years from now.”
2009: “No you’re not. I know that’s not true. You have a receding hairline. I know I won’t have a receding hairline.”
2019: “Why do you think that?”
2009: “Because my mom’s dad has a full head of hair.”
2019: “If only it were that simple. No, I’m really you. Look, I have the same scar you got from the bonfire you attended last fall.”
2009: “So I’m going to be bald?”
2019: “Most likely. But you’ll have a full head of hair when you get married, which I know is what’s most important to you.”
2009: “Hmm.. That’s still pretty disappointing. So why did you come see me?”
2019: “I wanted to give you some advice about what your future entails.”
2009: “I’m super pumped for the future! Well.. I was until I found out I was going to be bald!”
2019: [Laughing] “you have so much to learn. You should absolutely be excited about your future. You have a lot to look forward to. But your future is going to be a lot different than you currently imagine.”
2009: “I’ll say. I never thought in a million years that I would go bald.”
2019: “There’s much more to life than your hair or looks. And hey, you’ll have hair for the next 10 years, but who knows after that. That’s beside the point.”
2009: “Ok, so my life is going to turn out different than what I’m imagining.. Like what? Am I going to get into drugs and stuff like that?”
2019: “No [laughing again]. Nothing like that. You’re going to quickly learn a valuable habit of doing things that you don’t necessary want to do but you’ll do because you know it’s the right thing to do.”
2009: “What does that mean? [Saying angrily] Are you trying to tell me that I’m going to serve a mission (living away from home for two years to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)?”
2019: “That’s part of it (I served in Honduras, a third-world country where I learned to speak Spanish fluently). Actually that’ll be the first decision of many to come.”
2009: “There’s no way I’m serving a mission! I’ve been telling everyone for years that I have NO desire to serve a mission.”
2019: “Yeah, I’m well aware. But soon enough you’ll eat your words.”
2009: “Yeah we’ll see about that [doubtingly]. What else?”
2019: “You’re a few weeks away from meeting your future wife.”
2009: “Is she blonde?”
2019: “Yes, she is blonde.”
2009: “Good! I like them blonde and I like them dumb.”
2019: “Yeah you’ll get over that soon. I’m still not entirely sure how this happened, but you’re going to marry the smartest girl you’ll ever meet.”
2009: “That’s impossible. I’m pretty dumb and there’s no way a smart girl is going to like me and there is NO way a smart girl is ever going to marry me.”
2019: “Well it happens. Not for a while, but it does happen.”
2009: “I’m going to attend Utah State. What will it be like?”
2019: “College will be a blast. You’ll meet some really good friends.”
2009: “Will I graduate?”
2019: “Yes. You won’t be the best student but you’ll definitely graduate.”
2009: “I’m a little concerned that I’m not smart enough to be successful.”
2019: “Look, I’m not here to fool you by telling you that you’ll eventually turn into some sort of Einstein, but I promise you that you’ll be fine.”
2009: “Ok, if you say so. So what am I going to graduate in at Utah State?”
2019: “Accounting.”
2009: “You’re kidding me, right? I just took an accounting class last year and HATED it.”
2019: “No I’m not. You just had a bad experience with it. You’ll actually be pretty good at it too.”
2009: “Hmm.. That still sounds pretty lame. I guess our time is running low, do you have any advice for me?
2019: “More than I can say. The most important thing I can tell you is to be nice. Your greatest regret will be not being nice to some people. Life has been pretty easy on you, but unfortunately, it hasn’t been as easy for others around you. You’ll never regret being nice and you can certainly help others by treating them well. You’ll also regret that you worried too much about life. You’ll figure it out. You may not feel like you’re smart right now but you’re going to learn a lot over the next 10 years.”
2009: “I can probably work on being nicer to people. The whole love for learning sounds like a stretch, but I guess we’ll see. Thanks for coming to see me.”
2019: “The pleasure is mine. Enjoy the next 10 years.”
The 2019 me stands up and shakes the hand of the 2009 me and exits the room. The 2009 me remains in the room alone sitting in his seat and runs his hand through his hair and says with disbelief, “I can’t believe I’m going to go bald.”
What advice would you give to yourself?
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When I showed my wife the dialogue she said to me, “you talk about going bald a lot. Would you really say all this?” I admitted that I do mention going bald a lot, but honestly, I’m not sure that the “2009 me” talks about it enough to be realistic. If I really saw myself 10 years in the future and saw that I was going bald I would be so blindsided and distraught that I’m not sure the conversation would ever get past the topic. Fortunately, I’ve learned a lot since high school.
A photo of me in 2009.
A picture of Katie and I in 2012 (I don’t have any of us in 2009 when we first met). I met Katie at a water park shortly after graduation. Katie was life guarding and although I had to ask multiple times she eventually gave me her phone number. We dated off and on for five years and got married in 2015.
As I mentioned above, I had no desire to serve an LDS mission (and I made that very clear all throughout high school). The summer after graduation I learned it was the right thing for me to do. I was called to serve in Tegucigalpa, Honduras. There I had to learn to speak Spanish. For the first 6-12 months I struggled with living in a third-world country and speaking a foreign language. The last 12 months of my mission I had a total change of heart and learned to love the people. During my time in Honduras I learned that the happiest people I’ve met have very few possessions. It was a very humbling and eye opening experience. I’m so glad that I “ate my words” on this one.
And the best decision I’ve made over the last 10 years.